Black Dahlia
Just another WordPress.com weblogArchive for Muses
Brunette’s Back.
I’m finally back to being brown. choco brown to be exact. 
I love it! I’ve always been wanting to get this colour since, 4 years back? But each time I get my hair coloured, the hairstylist will always screw it up somehow. Loving it right now. The whole subtle ebony colour is megadope.
Happy Birthday JOY! :)
C
unlocked
Today, as I was about to fry an egg, I was abruptly hit by a rather random thought: what’s the deal about cheating? Thing is, I am perfectly fine with my partner cheating on me behind my back. I guess, to me, cheating will always be the part and parcel of being in any relationship. However, that’s not the most triggering thing that hit my half-awaken mind. The issue that really got my brain’s mechanisms moving was, how would one define betrayal? Is lying also considered as a form a betrayal? Another quandary that I find puzzling is the whole girlfriend/date/fling/goingout status shit. Thing is, a commitment, is pretty much a word that defines a certain form of status. However, M once debated with me, insisting that words are empty promises and that it’s the actions that help to determine the overall results. Still, without all these “empty words”, how would one be able to carry out all these actions?
Can anyone stand their partners cheating on them? Its not like I’m harboring the thoughts of cheating. I just don’t understand the deal of it. Why is it acceptable for someone to have sex with another person, while they are single and why is it unethical when one is binded with, words?
Morning.
I can just do this all day with you.
This morning, I woke up to 2 of M’s short-messages; Messages that acted as a form of reassurance and certainity. 
Anyway, we’ll be heading down to Oodie’s 21st birthday bash today at aloha chalet, or so I think that’s the right location. Happy Birthday MANE! Welcome to the big 2-1! YOU’RE FUCKING OLD. After which, it will be supperclub, companied by Sy and friends.
Will blog again later, only that its going to be a locked post.
Oh, Did I mention that I love waking up to M’s morning messages? Till then
Back.
Yes, just like what the title states, I’m offically back from my protacted absence. So anyway, I think google’s definitely the most amazing tool that has ever been invented; It helps to surface things. Then again, i think the word ‘things’ is pretty much to general for this particular instance. Perhaps,chronicles(companied by an emotional aftermath), will be a better word. In any case, I’m re-experiencing the same uncomfortable feeling I’ve once gathered from reading incomprehensibleme.
Nonetheless, I guess G’s right. Everybody has a past. So, why bother so much about digging into it? Hence, instead of spending the time digging, I should just digress and focus on constructing Solidification, right? Anyway, not everything’s that stygian! Through the help of the most ‘Amazing Invention,’ I’ve gotten to know that some people, or rather, someone out of some people, is rather sentimental and attentive afterall. I LOVE GOOGLE. You all should try googling for random things next time. Trust me, the results are rather astonishing.
My itunes is currently spinning, 男人KTV. I think this is currently my all time favourite; totally diggin’ the melody of this song (definitely won’t be able to say LYRICS, I can’t fucking understand it. Yes la, my mandarin is that atrocious.)
I’ve another 2+1 modules to complete, before I can offically said that I’ve unoffically graduated. This form of distress is so annoying. Then again, the fact of moving from the ‘student’ status, to ‘something unknown’ is just as distressing as well. I really have no idea what am I going to do with my life, especially when I’m still so raw, sheltered, irresponsible and half-hearted.Sheesh. At times, I just wish that I can learn to be much more independent. I know that I’m finally on the road of attaining utmost independence, however, at times, i just wish that I’ve prevented myself from experimenting with ‘Ecdysis.’ Its really hard getting use to something so novel and different. As much as I’m getting plenty of assurances from both, the past and the present, I somehow can’t vision what’s life going to be like in the future. Is this what mid-life crisis is supposed to be like? Something that’s entangled with Remorse, Fear, Contradictions and Perplexities? I really hate challenges, but I also hate failing.
No, its not that life isn’t any bit blissful now. As a matter of fact, I’ll still carry out the same actions as I’ve once did if I were given the power to turn back the hands of time.
This is so weird and out of point. But, I know that I am deeply mesmerized by M, and I know that I really want to make things work. Yet at times, I’m afraid that LOVE isn’t enough to sustain every element. It is undeniably scary to be dumped into this new enviroment. I feel like I’m portraying the role of the little prince in Saint-Exupéry’s, someone who is somehow being exposed to elements that are so unknown and unheard of. I can still remember this particular chapter from the book, it was when the prince met the geographer and from it, he got to know that flowers will never be recorded, due to the fact that they are ephemeral. So, I guess a part of me am afraid that this relationship with M could be pretty much that same; pretty, beautiful but sadly, ephemeral.
Nonetheless, books will be books, tales will always be tales. Its not always the case when stories depend on other stories and relationships are adaptions of previous novels, right? I can be the author, NO, I will be the author and not an adaptor.
I think this entry is just crap. I don’t even know what am I inditing about. hahahahahaha. =/
Emptiness
Honesty
I’m finally enervated of being flawless to the extent of manipulating myself to be someone that is generally accepted by the majority. My friends were right; there’s really no point to hide my vulnerability, as I’ll only appear to be seen as a person who is overly- fraudulent.
Unknown
Yesterday’s thrift shopping was a combination of pure success downright failure. We initially planned to visit seven thrift stores, but due to sheer bad luck and Mel’s nominal level of tolerance for me, we’ve only foraged two of them - one of which was closed for the day. Nonetheless, the shopping wasn’t exactly that uneventful. I’ve managed to purchase a really awesome ebony vintage bag from Jalan Bukit Merah’s Salvation Army. By the way, M has officially ditch me as her “Potential Amazing Race Partner.” She thinks that I’m a lousy map reader and she hiams me. 
Novelty
I guess that supermassive blackhole has finally filled itself up. Hence, explains the existence of this wordpress. Well well, hello virtual world, its been a while. My mind’s still rusty and I’m still facing the usual writer’s blockages. However, I shall useLinda’s wordpress as a source of motivation for me to keep up with this whole journal writing shit.As y’all know, my life under went a few life transformations- changes that require a hella of getting use to. Still, I won’t deny that I’ve grown to be much more independent, both emotionally and financially. However, I am still pretty much uncertain if these changes are supposed to be for the better but I guess time will tell.
I’ve just came back from Oklahoma City last week and I’m still facing a tiny bit of jetlag and well, it doesn’t help that Singapore’s weather is being such a bitch. I can’t believe I’m missing OKC’s (freezing) cold weather. Guess that explains why the grass will always be greener on the other side. Nevertheless, The trip was indeed an eyeopener for me; It kind of showed me a sneak preview of what my eventual life’s going to consist of – Politics, politics and even more politics. I’m serious. Its really amazing how matters can just alter themselves in just a 3-week duration. Nonetheless, I’ve seriously enjoyed the last week of US-on campus residency, majorly because I’ve formed a couple of new friendships, did my 3rd tattoo(Arabic wordings) and re-pierced my navel (4th time).
Digressing, I’m going thrift shopping today! Update soon.
