hopeless and helpless.

pathetic, isn’t it?

The tangerine tinged drapes that beautifully complimented the streaks of adumbrated radiance, which were impetuously trying to witness the fornication that was occurring within the latitude of four azure walls.

The idyllic exchange of excruciating passion is undoubtedly the best gift after 4 months of excruciating  incognito with unit 10171.

Thank you for today.

No, thank you for the second chance. You’re amazing.

Thank you for using your delicate fingers to wipe away my waterworks.

Thank you for addressing to my lamentations.

To you, “I know you like me. (: Thanks.” haha!

My mind has been awake for more than the period of duration between two successive transits of the sun. However, it is still surprisingly alert and fully attentive, despite feeling the occasional pangs of Cephalalgia. I know there’s a reason that is keeping me awake right now. Nonetheless, I’m uncertain if I should even allow myself to be in such a position.

Today was indeed memorable; it acknowledges the fact that timelessness will ultimately be piqued by lassitude. I feel pathetic, as I’m speechless in terms of expressing this form of disquietude that’s currently being wrapped around me.  I’m trying so hard to smile, but the only thing that can be wiped onto my face, for now at least,  will only be  a tiny simper. To be honest, I am not any bit bewildered if you are disgusted by my impetuosity. Howbeit, what am I supposed to do? The trepidation of losing you was just too overpowering.  I had to hold on to you somehow, because,  I  know if I were to do otherwise, it will most definitely be the end of our <s>timeless</s> novel.

I’m tearing as I’m typing this and again, I apologize for being so fragile. My tears, are easily comparable to the dregs found in a sewage pipe. I really wish I was stronger, perhaps, this would stop me from holding you back. I know I told you that I’m determined enough to illustrate to you what gratification really means, and I really do mean every single bit of it. But, I’m scared that I will never be hypersonic enough for you to regain your renewal, in regards to your attempts to try to make this bond, stronger.

What aches the most was not your decision to leave, it was when you said you never once mentioned that our relationship was timeless…

Fuck. I think I will end here, before I damp my keyboard with saliferous droplets. 

I love you, nonetheless.

The eyes portrayed the morning dews that can be found on the tip of each foliole and the nose ruffled like the picotte windchimes that were swiftly brushed by the strong winds of autumn.

Am I destined to be solider in this particular conflict of affections? Your last words to me  was a reminder for me to feign my ignorance, and its through this very form of nonchalance that I’m able to obtain indirect placidity. However, why is it so arduous for me to obtain such happiness if it’s so easily obtained through sheer ignorance?

Am I destined to be a chess piece in this complicated game of inclination? Your last words to me was a note for me to protect myself, and to avoid being tangled up in the labyrinthine of dependence. However, why is it so tough for me to prevent myself from being exposed to such threats?

Am I destined to be a victim in this tainted ruination of reliance? Your last words to me was a remark for me to forestall myself, and to avoid being involved in the poison of assurance. However, why is so hard for me to immune myself from such toxic?

3 deadly processes resulted from one acute cause. Nonetheless, it is this acute reasoning that I’m addicted to. How ironically strange.

Both the elongated and the curtailed hands of time were initially stablizing themselves on the very first prime number.

60,50,34,21,18,13…

and finally, 1 second later, the minute hand departed and was now a millimeter apart from its original position.

This, pretty much summarize the value of most relationships, doesn’t it? Things will never be everlasting. Bitterness will always be found at the end of every lusciousness.

I don’t know what brought me to this empty space but I’ve been busy catching up with LIFE, it leaves me with no time to even indite anything about it. Not that my life is any bit interesting anyway.  As a matter of fact, my life pretty much resembles an old english scene – whereby its sprung by minute division and specialization in labor. In short, its follows a mundane routine.

Anyway,  here’s a fucking addendum for today’s entry:

“ Dearest world fakery, how is it going?  Following the regulated customary, I guess? Well well. There’s something I’ve been wanting to felicitate you about and that is to your amazing decorations in potraying the ideal portrait of what friends are truly about.  Your sprinkles of demonic trust and illusions of unity are truly mesmerizing. I sincerely applaud you for your flawless effort in up keeping this entire facade. May you continue to blossom like the Star of Bethlehem in winter. I know I will be hearing from you soon. Till then. ”

Some people are just so repugnant.  Yes, I can fake ignorance  but  seriously, there’s always a certain form of limitation and you, fat lard, have successfully max out my total resistence for your absurd ”idolatry” you’ve for my boo.

One more time, and that’s just it. I think I’ve been gracious enough in terms of tolerating with your shit.